COTM | Super Duper Tuesday!

Snappy Super Duper Tuesday....it's Monday!

Somebody L'eggo my Eggo and get me some Mrs. Butterworth's - I don't know what to do with myself this morning! Do you know what tomorrow is?! Do you have any clue what tomorrow means for the happiness and welfare of the United States?! Do you know what you have to do tomorrow?! February 5th is a day that will go down in history because February 5th is....

...the release of Taylor Dayne's new album Satisfied! Somebody get me another Eggo and some Aunt Jemima this time - I've been waiting for this moment since 1989. Oh I know what you're thinking, "Tell it to My Heart" was the JAM in '88, but no - you all are clearly sleepin' on "Love Will Lead You Back" - I played that at like 3 piano recitals and 5 talent shows no doubt. I didn't really master it until '91, but who's really keeping track. And don't get me started on "With Every Beat of my Heart." Hmm... I feel like I'm missing something.

...Oh yeah, and Super Tuesday is tomorrow. I'm sure I don't need to give you any incentives for coppin' the new Taylor Dayne Album...but Super Tuesday may require a bit of convincing so here goes. 5 reasons why you need to vote on the 5th - Super Tuesday [if it's poppin' in your state]...

• Knowledge: Let's be honest. You didn't know what Super Tuesday was until this election huh? You thought it meant 99 cent video rentals at Blockbuster didn't you? It's ok. How were we supposed to know the difference? We've been able to rent videos longer than we've been able to vote! Well now you know, so vote.
  

• Must See TV: Come on - don't you want to see how this one turns out? I'm more excited for Super Tuesday than I was for yesterday's Super Bowl. This is just as good as NBC Must See TV in the early '90s.Except Dwayne-Wayne and Whitley are no where in site.
  

• The View: If you don't vote, then you you don't have the right to complain for the next year. Because according to Sherri Shepherd [co-host of The View] the presidential term is 1 year. Oh - and she also thinks the Earth is flat and no one existed before Jesus.

• The Ads: More ads! If you vote, they're sure to come. Let's find out what folks truly stand for. Education or campaign smearing?! Health care or character defamation?! Vote for me 'cause I'm the 57th richest person in America. My name is Ross Perot and I can buy the United States. Oh, and I approve this message. BTW - where is that man?
  

• Privilege: Voting is not a given right in some countries. And even with the ability to vote, that doesn't mean that the outcome will be fair. I guess that's happened in the U.S. too but you get my point.
  

My advice? Vote! Simple as 1-2-3 Jell-O. And to be honest, it's just as tasty. Have you tasted voting before? Delish.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS - I don't know why I'm giving her such a hard time. OK I know. I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she made her first couple snafus, but now it's just gotten out of hand.

COTM | Turkey Day

Snapberry Sauce and Turkey! It's Monday!

Ugh. Is it Thanksgiving yet? No?! Sigh. I almost forgot to send this bad-boy out. Since I'm all over the place today, you're going to get my random thoughts. Minimal organization - just nonsensical bullet points! Mmmm...

• Well, well, well....from the results of last week's poll it looks like your favorite Michael Jackson song is "Dirty Diana " - or as my nephew calls it, "Nasty Nancy." I'm surprised no one picked Jam. Shame.

• Why is he not retired yet? How are you gonna claim retirement like several times and then come back?! What kind of an example does that set for our senior citizens?! I would hate for them to think that promising something to the people and then not keeping their word is ok! Oo-wee.
  

• Is it Thanksgiving yet?!

• Brace yourselves. If you caught the AMAs last night, then you caught a glimpse of Armageddon: Alicia Keys performed... and danced! [loved it] and Beyonce joined Sugarland to sing the country version of irreplaceable [irrevocable....that's 2:47 minutes of my life I'll never get back.]
  

• Today is World Toilet Day - I know it may sound funny, but 2.6 billion people in the world are "untoileted" - from the report:"The lack of a safe, private, and convenient toilet is a daily source of indignity and undermines health, education, and income generation." I know this because it was in my work inbox this morning. Now that's how we should all start our Monday mornings.
  

• Back to the American Music Awards. "I be up in the gym workin' on my fitness" too so....umm...where's my AMA? I can dance in some miss piggy pumps like the best of 'em - skill!

• I'll take extra mashed potatoes, gravy, corn bread, sweet potatoes, and a turkey leg to start please. Thanks. What was that? huh?....it's not Thanksgiving yet?!?! Argh!
  

• I want this dress for Christmas so I can get my Tina Turner on...but I could do without the song.

• Can we bring this one back for old times sake? When I'm at work...feeling overwhelmed...or feeling like procrastinating, I just click this link and everything is better. I would pay good money to see this in person.
  

• Mmmm...
  

My advice for the week? Don't act like you're already on vacation - you'll never get anything done. Worse yet, you'll send out random e-mails to your friends and family with subliminal Thanksgiving menu options. Powerhouse it the next few days and then make the best of Thanksgiving [i.e. eat all you can and don't forget to make me a plate!]

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS - that reminds me. I need to fill up my tank. Lemme hold a dollar!!

COTM | Thriller

Snapple Tropical Mango Antioxidant Water - it's Monday!

So I was going to wait 3 weeks for this, but this is just too good. In less than 3 weeks we will all be celebrating one of the most important days in like World History....

...the anniversary of Michael Jackson's Thriller! That's right December 1st [which is also World AIDS Day] is the 25th Anniversary of one of the best albums - with one of the weirdest alternative covers, but I digress. Oh Thriller. They don't make albums like that anymore. It's just amazing on so many levels. Shall we review? Here's how you know an album is the ish diddles and has ridiculous staying power....

• Music Video: The Thriller video is like an actual movie - and that mess scared the bejeezuz out of me when I was little. For the record, never show a child "The Making of Thriller" - ever... especially while that child happens to be visiting Africa.
  

• Publicity: MJ just made the cover of Ebony Magazine....and he's not even Ebony anymore! Influence.
  

• Dance: I know the entire dance - and so do you - don't deny it. But... um... er... uh... when a detention center in the Philippines reenacts the entire video 24 years later?! Did I mention that this is a male detention center? So that unattractive woman you see at the beginning & end....well...you figure it out.

• Remakes: Chris Brown wasn't even born when this album was released. Fast forward to the end - it has a montage of his videos. Good stuff.
  

• Album Sales: Thriller is the best selling album of all time! Purple Rain has to be a close second...if not, I'll cry.
  

• Concerts: The Thriller tour was clearly one of the best ever. Ahh...1987...when I had a serious crush on MJ. This is also the year my bro JP got me MJ's Bad album and secured my happiness and bestest, awesomest brother in the world status. I still remember the day as though it was yesterday...."put the needle on the record"...

• Songs: Thriller, Beat It, PYT, The Girl is Mine, The Lady in My Life, Human Nature...lyrical goodness!!! And I quote, " Where Did You Come From Lady, And Ooh Won't You Take Me There; Right Away Won't You Baby; Tendoroni You've Got To Be; Spark My Nature Sugar Fly With Me" - genius. Do you know how many folks have remixed his songs?!?!
  

Michael Jackson may be a little different... but he sure makes some good music! Since most of you aren't working anyways [you really shouldn't be reading this e-mail at work...you should be ashamed] - I have a project for you. Remember the good times - think of your favorite Michael Jackson song and make that your theme song for the week. Oh - and let me know what it is!

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS - I don't know...this kind of scared me more than the original video.

COTM | The Purple One

Snappiness & Greetings to ya on this Monday Morn!

So how many of you got married on 7/7/7?! No? Did you go to a wedding? Well I was at a wedding of sorts. One of the most joyous day of my life, in fact. And the most touching and lasting words I heard on 7/7/7 were, "Dearly Beloved....we are gathered here today....to get through this thing called life" - but these words didn't come from a priest, but close...They came from the love of my life, Prince Rogers Nelson as he performed his timeless intro to "Let's Go Crazy" from Purple Rain.


That's right, 7/7/7 was Prince Day in Minnesota and I went to his private afternoon concert at Macy's as well as the big one at the Target Center. It rained purple. It was the most magical day of my life. And then the clock struck 12, the concert ended, my Prince disappeared, my carriage turned back into a pumpkin and the rest of the night went downhill - but let's not talk about that. Let's reflect on the good times that Prince and I had (yes, in my mind it was just the two of us). I'm devoting this COTM to The Purple One. Let's recap and talk about why Prince may very well be the best entertainer in all the land.

• Outfits: I stopped counting after outfit number 5. But I must say that magenta never looked so good. Neither has white, teal, orange, and mother of pearl.
  

• Albums: He's *almost* made an album for every year of his life. Now that's skill...and dedication.

• Hair: All that performing and he didn't sweat his hair out. Dark n' Lovely ain't no joke folks. His hair is luxurious.
  

• Personalized Shirts: I haven't seen so many homemade t-shirts since puff paints and airbrushing were popular in the early 90s. My favorite were two girls who wore powder blue shirts that read, "Cleanse yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka" [good look Rach!]

• 3121 Perfume: Some of you have heard me say that it interestingly yet not surprisingly smells like a combination of Brut, gumdrops, and @$$. But on Saturday we met Larry...the man behind the fragrance. And he asked me for my honest opinion. And I said, "well...it sure smells like Prince." And I feel bad for making fun of his brainchild. So now I'll just say that it smells like Brut & gumdrops...with a touch of Peruvian Rainforest.
  

• Sheila E: Need I say more?

• Wendy & Lisa: Um...need I say more?

• Princesses: Where there is a prince, there is a princess. And many women believed that they were princesses on Saturday. In full garb, women wore purple capes, formal Cinderella gowns, boas, and the like....most of these women did not, however, look quite like princesses. Wearing a pair of gray Asics kind of takes away from the glamour of the outfit.
  

• Purple Prince 3121 Wristbands: I'm still wearing mine.
  

• Commitment: He performed 3 different times on Saturday...and didn't stop 'til the Minneapolis police shut him down!

Sigh. Prince is one beautiful woman. lol - j/k. He makes me so happy. If you remember nothing but one thing from this week's COTM, remember this: If you let him, Prince will change your life. Somebody give me an infomercial.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS. It's the Prince skit from Chapelle's Show [nsfw] - to be honest, the only reason why it's this week's MOS is 'cause I couldn't fit it in anywhere else. I have yet to figure out the Schadenfreude involved...perhaps the gratuitous use of Lycra and velvet?

p.p.s: If you don't know much about Prince, please... familiarize yourself. There'll be a test.

p.p.p.s: Rach, Eduardo, Lindz, Mariam & Abdul....I had SO much fun with you guys. We must do this again...say...8/8/8?!

COTM | Members Only

Is that a permed mullet, shoulder pads, and a Member's Only jacket?!?! - well this video may be a close second to last week's best pop song of the 80s. I think I like it because it's terribly horrible and surprisingly catchy. Tears for Fears is like the father of Danity Kane.

With that I say, Happy Monday! You can tell I have a case of the Mondays 'cause you're gettin' this in the afternoon. This morning was a bust for me. I had a red-eye flight and our pilot was definitely practicing for the 2007 Oshkosh air show. Amateur, no doubt. He was doing figure eights in the air and donuts on the runway. Therefore, I am ALL kinds of off today.

In the spirit of (and my personal campaign for) bringing back the 80s, I thought about the other multimedia elements that make it the best decade ever. The music videos were ingenious - we've already established that. But you know what else? - those darn TV shows that found a way to turn a regular episode into an extended music video. Enter Miami Vice circa 1984. Oh Philip Michael Thomas - why didn't you win that Golden Globe you were nominated for in 1986? Some things just aren't fair. Much like your triad of first names and your love for pastel business suits, but I digress. But real talk, I think it's amazing how in a matter of one episode, these guys can fight crime, win, lose, and win the girl again, blow-up a 1972 Ferrari Daytona Spyder 365 GTS/4, and maintain their mysterious sexy while wearing white linens & pastels... white linens & pastels! Truly the archetype of a good man.


So here's my advice to you, my friends: Ladies - if you're trying to snag that perfect man, make sure he's wearing some sort of Easter color and no socks. Gentlemen - if you'd like to get the girl, just keep the gheri curl activator activated and throw your tie to the wind....it's 100 percent cotton undershirts and blazers with shoulder pads that'll get our attention.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!