COTM | What Now?!

Snappy Swinter Wonderland - is it spring yet?! Sheesh!

The Oscars & after parties were quite the sha-bang huh? Glitz, glamour, glory and what-not. Starlets and legends. Class & Style...

...Who am I kidding, I didn't watch one moment of it all. There were two Law & Order marathons on and I took full advantage. I must admit, I was seriously conflicted [SVU on USA and Criminal Intent on Bravo]. I hope I never have to make a decision like that ever again. Really, it stressed me out.

You know what else is stressin' me out? Glad you asked - so I'm sitting here at Luther Westside Volkswagon. Once again I received a postcard in the mail saying "something" in/on my car was recalled and I need to bring my car in. I'm gonna need for them to get it right the first time - like when they're building the car in "Germany" [Read: Brazil]. Well here I am waiting on my car [his name is Merc by the way]. Let's do a play-by-play shall we?

• 8:30 AM: I drive Merc the service center. They tell me my brake lights were recalled and they'll replace them [good...'cause I kind of need those]. I head to the "Business Center."

• 9:00 AM: My service guy tells me I need my windshield wipers replaced [which I knew b/c I requested it when I walked in, but who's listening right?] That'll be like $12 plus "labor" [not bad...looks like I can pay cash for my car service today.]

• 9:30 AM: Just as I suspected, my brake pads are worn down. $57.65 for all 4 and $93.16 for 2 rotors [ok...well...debit card today...I budgeted for this...wait for it]...and $220 for labor. [Ay Caramba! What kind of "labor" are we working with here?! It can't possibly be more labor than childbirth, and those women don't even get paid!...usually.This mess is going on credit.]

• 10:00 AM: My new found enemy [service guy] says that there's a fee for regular maintenance. It's usually $86 but they recently reduced the price. So this time, it's only $80. Today is truly my lucky day - $6 in savings. Drinks on me. I give my service guy the evil side-eye and walk away. They know me here as "the chick that knows too much about her car and knows when she's getting ripped-off" and they still pulled this mess.
  

• 10:30 AM: I'm Googling the $#$&)#! out for some "Volkswagen Service Coupons".

I can't wait for 11:00 AM. Really, I can't. They'll probably tell me I need to get my engine, battery, and wheels replaced too. My advice for the week? Use Public Transportation! It's cheaper, greener, and funner...yeah, I said funner.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS - who knew Mike Huckabee could be such a comedian?! "Uh-oh! That's not good news. You know Seth, I was counting on those Super Delegates..."

COTM | Naturalization

Snappy Monday to ya!

I hope all you Cavs fans are recovering from last week. If you need to find something to pass the time, yet still bask in the potential greatness of your team, just do this.
Etch-a-Sketch has never seen such artistry!

So lately I've been watching a lot of CNN , MSNBC and what-not - and reading (yes, I read). And the more and more I try to educate myself on current affairs, the more I realize I really don't know much about...well, important stuff. Like if the United States Government somehow decided that no one is a citizen anymore and to become a citizen again we all have to take a Naturalization Test....I'd probably have to pack my bags and move to Guam...but Guam's a U.S. territory. I wonder if I'd have to take a test when I got there. Hmm...I've always wanted to learn Chamarro.

Anyways, want to test your knowledge ? If you don't get these lucky 7 questions, let me know and we can totally go halfsies on a condo in Guam. Answers below...

1. Semi-Current Affairs: When did 9/11 Happen? | Believe it or not, some folks don't know - not even the obvious "9/11" part. Watch the video...really? You say 3 million people perished?....are you sure?

2. History: Name one of the writers of The Federalist Papers

3. Presidents: Who was the first President of the United States? | Ooo! I know this one. Me...pick ME!

4. Judicial: Who is the Chief Justice of the United States?

5. Constitution: How many Amendments does the U.S. Constitution have?

6. Legislative: Name your state's 2 Senators.

7. Citizens: What are "inalienable rights"?

So how many did ya get? Mmhmm, that's what I thought. Pack your bags and I'll swoop ya when you're ready. Remember in Middle School when you asked why this info is important and your teacher said, "because it's your history"? Well here's my advice for the week: become a selective learner. i.e. know your president....but not-so-much the fact that he's our 43rd president. Unless you plan on playing Jeopardy, Trivial Pursuit and the likes.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Are you cupcakin'?! Well your MOS [Moment of Schadenfreude] sure is! I'm about to sue. They stole that beat from my 1987 Casio.

p.p.s: Answer Key: 1: September 11, 2001, 2: James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, Publius, 3: If you don't know this one, please gently smack yourself , 4: John Roberts 5: Twenty-Seven, 6: U.S. Senators, 7: Individual rights that people are born with.

COTM | Metacognition

Oh sweet Monday, why do you love me so? Happy Monday Folks!

On my red-eye flight last night I had some time to think - sleeping was nearly impossible 'cause I was too worried about the potential Tuberculosis circulating through my air vents. And I'm pretty sure the guy next to me coughed up his left lung...but not positive because my head was burrowed under a blanket I brought. Anywho, while meditating in my self-made aviation fort, I thought about intelligence, common sense, and all those other "smart things." Common sense would tell Mr. Tuberculosis not to fly but intelligence (his doctors) allegedly gave him the go ahead. But then again, common sense & a little intelligence would probably tell Madonna not to do this - and she's considered to have a "Superior IQ." So what makes us "intelligent" and can we truly measure it?

Albert Camus said, "An intellectual is a person whose mind watches itself" and I couldn't agree more. If I could only take one thing away from 7th grade math (and I did), it would be metacognition: thinking about your thinking about your thinking....etc. That, I believe, is the foundation of intelligence/intellecutalism. We all know that standardized tests don't really measure intelligence - at least that's what I tell myself after I take one. But enough about my insecurities...

Let's make-up our own intelligence test to jog our brains. Forget your IQ, throw-out your SAT, GRE, LSAT, GMAT, & MCAT. This is the new measure of intelligence & aptitude. If you succeed at any of these tests, consider yourself smart. And yes, these tests are graded on a curve so you're all good. You don't even need a pencil...

• Radar Quiz - "So You Think You're Smart" - 10 quick questions

• O'Reilly Factor w/Steven Colbert - Pass = you laugh at Bill O'Reilly | Fail = you agree with Bill O'Reilly

• Tickle Pop Culture Test - if you're feeling extra smart, go ahead and take the IQ test

• Dictionary Test - You know at least one of the many new words just added to the Oxford English Dictionary . Whoa, whoa, whoa - you mean to tell me that toodles wasn't in the dictionary before this year? For shame.

With that, remember the random yet profound words of Arthur C. Clarke: "It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value."

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Voltaire said, "anything too stupid to be said is sung." With that, here's your MOS [Moment of Schadenfreude]. Remember Bizzy Bone from Bone Thugs -n- Harmony ? If so, you're gonna love this one.