COTM | Spoiled Brats

Snappy Monday Folks!

I would have got this to ya in the morning....but I was too busy reading celebrity gossip sites, and then I had to do some work. I a-pol-o-jayz.

So the other day I was paying my bills online while watching MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen (which kind of gives the same effect as watching a Dateline special on "Obesity in America" while eating a #5 from Burger King - I've done that too). Anyways, either way you feel bad afterwards...dare I say, empty?

Well I'm about sick of the ridiculous materialism plaguing our nation. I never thought I'd ever say this, but "kids these days! Do they think money grows on trees?!?!" $200,000 parties, $80,000 cars, and $10,000 dresses?!?! You know what I got for my sixteenth birthday?!.... A JOB! I know I didn't have to link that one, but I just want to be clear. After seeing materialism at its worst, I think it's my duty to save you all from the madness. I know most of you don't have kids...or perhaps you're waiting to hear about the DNA results? - but that's neither here nor there. This is something we all must educate ourselves on - like politics and poverty in America...and celebrity gossip. So here go the top 5 clues that your child (or one around you) may be spoiled.

• You give them a $67,000 car and they tell you, "You ruined my life! You were supposed to wait to give me the car at my PARTY, stupid mom!"

• You find that every 6-12 months you're upgrading a gift you just gave them. In 1987 my father and I waited in the Toys R Us line for houuuurrs to buy the Nintendo. I can honestly say I never asked him for a Christmas gift after that. Do you think he got me the PlayStation or XBox? Noooo. I'm STILL playin' Donkey Kong on that thing till the wheels fall off.

• She/he tells you that contrary to popular belief, there is in fact a price that you can put on happiness...and it runs around a quarter mil.

• You give 'em a $20 bill to go to the movies with friends and he/she looks at you all sideways like you placed a chewed-up piece of watermelon bubblicious in his/her hand.

• You say to them, "For Pete's sake, do you think I'm a Millionaire?!" and they reply, "well...yeah...at least."

With that said, my advice to you is to avoid these unruly children at all costs....but be nice to them if you have to interact with them because as this twisted world works, they will be signing your paychecks in about 15 years):

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Speaking of spoiled kids, here's your MOS [Moment of Schadenfreude] - you may want to turn the volume down on this one. Screaming kids and what-not. It's all kinds of wrong, but funny. [NSFW]

COTM | Randomness

Tuesday is the new Monday. Which means all ya'll are going to work on Saturday. Yay!

Sorry I didn't get this to you sooner....I've spent an unprecedented amount of time in the Houston airport the past 2 days and on a scale from 1-10, my motivation level is a staggering 0.2. Since I can't think straight, this Case of the Mondays is going to be pret-ty random. I'm practically delusional right now and I'm *this close* to getting on the NWA microphone to tell everyone to go home because our flight is canceled...again...for like, the 4th time...in 2 days. So here goes...

• 80s Music : I completely forgot to this video into the Miami Vice/Pastel & Linens/Mullets & Hairspray mix a couple weeks ago. Now THIS is music. Take notes, R. Kelly. You may be that sick, perverted, lyrical genius, but you're no Rick Astley!
  

• Prince: Speaking of lyrical geniuses, we all know how much I loooovves me some Prince. And if you didn't know, consider our friendship on hold. 07/07/07 is the day of truth. New album...new fragrance (unisex, no doubt)....new concert in Mpls. [thx rach] Let's all take a moment to reflect and watch one of my favorite SNL clips - The Prince Show
  

• Propaganda: If I didn't already have great car insurance, I would buy me some Geico 'cause their commercials are great. On top of that, they pick the most obscure (yet amazing) British music...and dry humor. I'm sure you've seen this one ...but it's worth watching again. Whenever I'm feeling down...like when I'm stuck at Bush Intercontinental Houston Airport with a bunch of screaming children and no luggage....I play this and it makes me happy again.

• TV: The first season of Martin was recently released on DVD [thx jenice]. And I almost forgot how hilarious that show was. Until I stumbled across this Sheneneh clip. Remember Sheneneh Jenkins? The sad thing is I've met several people like her...several.

Oh - my plane's boarding. Heck yeah. Well here's my advice: Never write an e-mail when you're delusional. 'Cause it's not gonna make sense in a couple hours when you've rested up and re-read it. Oh well. Enjoy, lol.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: http://oh-mondays.blogspot.com/

p.p.s: Here's your MOS [Moment of Schadenfreude]. I know I'm wrong for this - especially since she's so sweet and deserved a shot at Miss Universe.

COTM | I'm Brian Fellows!

I know it's not Monday yet, but I just couldn't wait. This clip is just that good.

Have you ever watched the unfortunate downward spiral of a celebrity on live television? It only takes seconds, folks, SECONDS to make a fool of yourself (in my case it usually only takes a nanosecond or two, but that's just unnecessary information). I present to you Tracy "Hi, I'm Brian Fellows" Morgan on a morning news program making me smile like whoa.

LOL! I know half of you say the same thing when you wake-up in the morning and look in the mirror: "Look at me...I'm handsome! Now I can SEE why I got so many kids!...LADIES!....MY MERCEDES!!! I'm the Ooh Child."

Act like you don't know. With that said, I would be remiss if I didn't advise accordingly...

Folks, don't go on LIVE television if you have just consumed substances that...ummm...how do I put this...I dunno...aren't FDA approved?!

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!