COTM | Happy New Year!

Snappy New Year!

Give your loved ones the silly side eye and wish them the best in 2008! You all deserve the best in the new year! Love ya!

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Once again...you shouldn't be reading this....because that may mean you're working! Stop working!

COTM | Merry Christmas!

Snappy Holidays!

Give your family and friends a big hug and tell 'em you love 'em! And give 'em a hug for me too ;-)

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Wait...you shouldn't be reading this....because that may mean you're working! Stop working!

COTM | Ab-Fabs '07

Snappy Tomato Pizza - It's Monday! Thank ya for the birthday wishes last week! And a super-duper thank you to the Stanford '03 gals who donated a digital camera to Free Arts Minnesota in my name - the kids will LOVE IT! For those of you that tried to get a hold of me at work that day....well...you shoulda known better. I was no where near my job. Otay, moving riiigghht along... Well, this year has been full of off-the-wall stories. I'm sure that you all have read a few here and there, but I thought I'd compile a list of my ab-fabs. This will certainly keep you entertained...

• Ha Ha Ha! Merry Christmas! : Santas in Australia have been asked to say "Ha Ha Ha" because "Ho Ho Ho" may be offensive to women. Own the word ladies, don't let the word own you!

• $54,000 Scotch: Um....I'll take rail, thanks. Wait...I don't even drink scotch.
  

• Senator Biden on Senator Obama: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy, I mean, that's a storybook, man." Really Joe? "Articulate"?..."Clean"? Were there no other adjectives in your vocab that day? Was Jesse Jackson not clean? Al Sharpton? No?...

• Stolen Greeting Cards : So Mr. Postman stole greeting cards and took the money that was inside. Smart man. If he was really smart, he'd steal a credit card and gank someone's identity. I'm just sayin. If you're gonna do it, do it right. $50 birthday check or $5000 credit limit? Amateur.
  

• Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen?: Your eyes are not deceiving you. This is the name of a TV show that hopes to get picked-up by a network. It works like this: 1) Guy is illegal immigrant. 2) Guy meets "American" Girl. 3) Guy and Girl "fall in love." 4) Guy marries Girl and gets Green Card. And if I may add, 5) Guy and Girl go to jail for fraudulent marriage.

• Andre J: I can't believe he made the cover of Paris Vogue. Wait. I take that back. I can't believe he made it in the New York Times !
  

• Virgin Atlantic Safety Video: Um....I really don't know what to say. This video creeps me out a little. Actually, it creeps me out a lot. I can't stand the Heathrow Airport. So if I was on a flight from the U.S. to Heathrow and this video played?! Well....lets just say you wouldn't want to be the one sitting next to me.
  

• Diamond Skull: I'm sorry what was that? "A platinum cast of a human skull encrusted with 8,601 diamonds" you say? Bought for $100 Million? You see, this is the kind of @&#!$!* that makes me angry.

• 

This stuff is just too good to make up folks. So what's your funny story? My advice to you is to make one up...and live it! Life's too short for it to be boring too. Just make sure someone is nearby with a camera. Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS - ouch! He's gonna feel that tomorrow...or today.

p.p.s: If any of you would like to know more about Free Arts Minnesota, just get at me. It's a phenomenal organization that is near and dear to me.

COTM | Holiday Fun

Snappy Holidays! It's Monday!

Well it's about that time folks. It's December and the holiday season is upon us. I won't bore you with my annual conspicuous consumption speech, but I will give you the abridged, remixed version...

OK, so here goes: Easy on the malls, online stores, and fruitcakes. Spend some quality time with your family and friends. Give Santa a smooch - and think about " the reason for the season. "

During the holiday season we can easily get carried away with shopping, gifts and pricey items ...and I'm certainly not going to stand in the way of you and your MasterCard, but I will add a couple ideas to your "holiday to do list." Think of me as your conscience...your voice of reason...your nagging wife...

• One: The Campaign to Make Poverty History - why not throw a holiday event for a cause like this? Raise awareness and raise some mullah.
  

• World Vision: Many of you know this has been a favorite of mine since about 1993. A small gift can provide a child with clothes, medicine, books, and more.
  

• Volunteer Match: You can find any and every volunteer opportunity through this site. Food banks, shelters, and schools need more help than ever during holidays. Check 'em out.

• Toys for Tots: You gotta luv the kids! Throw a couple toys for the kids in the shopping cart along with the Wii and Plasma TV fr you. Mmhmm...I know what you're getting yourself for the holidays.
  

• Insert Your Own Humanitarian Effort Here: Hey - I can't come up with all the ideas! Sheesh. You guys are gettin' lazy!
  

So what I'm trying to say is, remember what the holidays are all about. Oh - and don't spend all your money! e. e. cummings once said, "I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." Ain't that the truth!

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS- actually its not really schadenfreude. To be honest, I'm thinking about bringing some Jell-O Jigglers to at least one holiday party this year.

p.p.s: If I get motivated, maybe I'll post more ideas on my website - keep your eyes peeled.