So I've been thinking (I know - it kind of hurts) - is Hip Hop really dead? That seems to be the musical question of the year. I certainly think that every 25 years or so a completely new form of music surfaces, stamping a cultural identity for each generation. But back to the question - is Hip Hop really dead? Me thinks not....but it certainly needs a little CPR or somethin'. I'm not being pessimistic, but let me just run you by a few reasons why Hip Hop may have to reassess its livelihood...
Oprah's HipHop Dancing Audience: Please make them stop. If I shouldn't do the "chicken noodle soup", then NO ONE in Oprah's audience should do it. Word.
Comedians making fun of Hip Hop:
...this is great though. "temperature is the only thing keeping me from drinking that coffee." Do you have a B-Boy stance?
Writers making fun of Hip Hop [thanks Angel]: "Mims is hot because he's fly. But it raises the question: Does being hot guarantee one's being fly? "You ain't 'cause you not" would seem to clear that up"
Hip Hop Pioneers on Oprah: I don't have to explain this one. But I thought that Hip Hop had gone into cardiac arrest when I saw Russell Simmons, Kevin Lyles, & Common talking to Oprah during her "Hip Hop Town Hall... HIP HOP TOWN HALL! " This is either really good or really bad...I haven't decided yet.
Well whatever the case may be, I do know one thing about Hip Hop - I love it. And if you love it too, you'll preserve it by doing the following...
Every morning when you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and " You can roll your arms (roll your arms), and justput 'em in rotation(rotation), rock side, to side, now snap yo' fangaz like 'dem temptations"and when you go to bed at night, look in the same mirror and say, "Lets Get Gone, Walk It Out (Now Walk It Out - Think About It - Aaahhh Snap!!!) Now Rock Rock Rock Rock You Can Do It All By Yo'self." Repeat as necessary.
I know it's not Monday yet, but I just couldn't wait. This clip is just that good.
Have you ever watched the unfortunate downward spiral of a celebrity on live television? It only takes seconds, folks, SECONDS to make a fool of yourself (in my case it usually only takes a nanosecond or two, but that's just unnecessary information). I present to you Tracy "Hi, I'm Brian Fellows" Morgan on a morning news program making me smile like whoa. LOL! I know half of you say the same thing when you wake-up in the morning and look in the mirror: "Look at me...I'm handsome! Now I can SEE why I got so many kids!...LADIES!....MY MERCEDES!!! I'm the Ooh Child."
Act like you don't know. With that said, I would be remiss if I didn't advise accordingly...
Folks, don't go on LIVE television if you have just consumed substances that...ummm...how do I put this...I dunno...aren't FDA approved?!
Is that a permed mullet, shoulder pads, and a Member's Only jacket?!?! - well this video may be a close second to last week's best pop song of the 80s. I think I like it because it's terribly horrible and surprisingly catchy. Tears for Fears is like the father of Danity Kane.
With that I say, Happy Monday! You can tell I have a case of the Mondays 'cause you're gettin' this in the afternoon. This morning was a bust for me. I had a red-eye flight and our pilot was definitely practicing for the 2007 Oshkosh air show. Amateur, no doubt. He was doing figure eights in the air and donuts on the runway. Therefore, I am ALL kinds of off today.
In the spirit of (and my personal campaign for) bringing back the 80s, I thought about the other multimedia elements that make it the best decade ever. The music videos were ingenious - we've already established that. But you know what else? - those darn TV shows that found a way to turn a regular episode into an extended music video. Enter Miami Vice circa 1984. Oh Philip Michael Thomas - why didn't you win that Golden Globe you were nominated for in 1986? Some things just aren't fair. Much like your triad of first names and your love for pastel business suits, but I digress. But real talk, I think it's amazing how in a matter of one episode, these guys can fight crime, win, lose, and win the girl again, blow-up a 1972 Ferrari Daytona Spyder 365 GTS/4, and maintain their mysterious sexy while wearing white linens & pastels... white linens & pastels! Truly the archetype of a good man.
So here's my advice to you, my friends: Ladies - if you're trying to snag that perfect man, make sure he's wearing some sort of Easter color and no socks. Gentlemen - if you'd like to get the girl, just keep the gheri curl activator activated and throw your tie to the wind....it's 100 percent cotton undershirts and blazers with shoulder pads that'll get our attention.
So I'm going through a crisis of sorts. Perhaps a quarter-life crisis (yes, I plan on living past 100). And when I'm 100 I'll still be rockin' my pink Sheila E pumps, side pony-tail and slap bracelets 'cause I'm nostalgic for THE 80s!!! Ever notice that the greatest things in life - the stuff that GOODNESS & DREAMS are made of - were all created in the 80s?: the disposable camera, Doppler radar, the Internet, Mac Computer, erasable pens, the Nintendo, INDIGLO?!?! Oh sweet PETERS I can go on and on!
Perhaps the best "invention" of the 80s was the music video with story lines - remember those? Remember tryin' to make your own music videos to Michael Jackson's "Bad"? DON'T LIE... I have evidence on some of you. It may be in Beta format, but it's evidence no less. Well the videos of the 80s are SO much better than the meaningless misogynistic video-vixen/cash/cars/drinks videos that are on TV now (do I sound like your parents yet?). 80s videos had a purpose...creativity...musical ingenious...horrible, horrible hairstyles & unforgiving spandex. Lots and lots of spandex. You know, the stuff that matters.
Well in my nocturnal stupor, I did a search for the best 80s POP video. It was a tough decision, but it came down to a little Norwegian group by the name of a-ha. I can't get enough of this video...
Sigh. The musical ingenious of this song and video is simply unparalleled. And is thatrotoscope animation & live-action TOGETHER?! Somebody catch me.
Oh wait - I haven't imparted any wis-dom yet! Umm...ok: Spandex is a privilege, NOT A RIGHT. Real talk.
Well whadda you know - it's Monday again! Time for some wis-dom. It's only the second e-mail and I've almost run out of wis-dom...this may be a first of the month thing - like your bills, lol.
So what's in a name? Lately I've been hearing some really *interesting* names. I have a feeling that gone are the days of Marys and Josephs. Unless, of course, you read the Bible. Last week I had to conduct mock interviews with a few teenagers and barely made it past the first 5 seconds when they handed me their resumes with their names on top. I've never SEEN so many syllables!
So here's something to think about for the week. A few guidelines, if you will, for naming your future children...
Stay away from making-up a name and/or spelling. There are like 76 kagillion name out there to choose from.
Unless your name is "ethnic," try to stay away from apostrophes, umlauts, silent letters, and double capital letters. I know I just offended like 10 of you. It's ok. I didn't mean it.
Unless you plan on your child growing up to be a "star" or "athlete" or "star athlete," don't give them names that could potentially get them beat up on the playground...or keep them from getting a J-O-B. Trust me, it's a cruel, cruel world.
If you give your child a first name that sounds like a prepositional phrase, make sure you last name isn't a noun. ie: Anna Top, Anna Book, Anna House...you get the point.
The exception? "Sho'nuff The Showgun of Harlem"... He EARNED his name. Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
