Snappy New Year!
Give your loved ones the silly side eye and wish them the best in 2008! You all deserve the best in the new year! Love ya!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Once again...you shouldn't be reading this....because that may mean you're working! Stop working!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
COTM | Merry Christmas!
Snappy Holidays!
Give your family and friends a big hug and tell 'em you love 'em! And give 'em a hug for me too ;-)
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Wait...you shouldn't be reading this....because that may mean you're working! Stop working!
Give your family and friends a big hug and tell 'em you love 'em! And give 'em a hug for me too ;-)
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Wait...you shouldn't be reading this....because that may mean you're working! Stop working!
Monday, December 10, 2007
COTM | Ab-Fabs '07
Snappy Tomato Pizza - It's Monday! Thank ya for the birthday wishes last week! And a super-duper thank you to the Stanford '03 gals who donated a digital camera to Free Arts Minnesota in my name - the kids will LOVE IT! For those of you that tried to get a hold of me at work that day....well...you shoulda known better. I was no where near my job. Otay, moving riiigghht along... Well, this year has been full of off-the-wall stories. I'm sure that you all have read a few here and there, but I thought I'd compile a list of my ab-fabs. This will certainly keep you entertained... 
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - ouch! He's gonna feel that tomorrow...or today.
p.p.s: If any of you would like to know more about Free Arts Minnesota, just get at me. It's a phenomenal organization that is near and dear to me.
- Ha Ha Ha! Merry Christmas! : Santas in Australia have been asked to say "Ha Ha Ha" because "Ho Ho Ho" may be offensive to women. Own the word ladies, don't let the word own you!
- $54,000 Scotch: Um....I'll take rail, thanks. Wait...I don't even drink scotch.
- Senator Biden on Senator Obama: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy, I mean, that's a storybook, man." Really Joe? "Articulate"?..."Clean"? Were there no other adjectives in your vocab that day? Was Jesse Jackson not clean? Al Sharpton? No?...
- Stolen Greeting Cards : So Mr. Postman stole greeting cards and took the money that was inside. Smart man. If he was really smart, he'd steal a credit card and gank someone's identity. I'm just sayin. If you're gonna do it, do it right. $50 birthday check or $5000 credit limit? Amateur.
- Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen?: Your eyes are not deceiving you. This is the name of a TV show that hopes to get picked-up by a network. It works like this: 1) Guy is illegal immigrant. 2) Guy meets "American" Girl. 3) Guy and Girl "fall in love." 4) Guy marries Girl and gets Green Card. And if I may add, 5) Guy and Girl go to jail for fraudulent marriage.
- Andre J: I can't believe he made the cover of Paris Vogue. Wait. I take that back. I can't believe he made it in the New York Times !
- Virgin Atlantic Safety Video: Um....I really don't know what to say. This video creeps me out a little. Actually, it creeps me out a lot. I can't stand the Heathrow Airport. So if I was on a flight from the U.S. to Heathrow and this video played?! Well....lets just say you wouldn't want to be the one sitting next to me.
- Diamond Skull: I'm sorry what was that? "A platinum cast of a human skull encrusted with 8,601 diamonds" you say? Bought for $100 Million? You see, this is the kind of @&#!$!* that makes me angry.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - ouch! He's gonna feel that tomorrow...or today.
p.p.s: If any of you would like to know more about Free Arts Minnesota, just get at me. It's a phenomenal organization that is near and dear to me.
Monday, December 3, 2007
COTM | Holiday Fun
Snappy Holidays! It's Monday!
Well it's about that time folks. It's December and the holiday season is upon us. I won't bore you with my annual conspicuous consumption speech, but I will give you the abridged, remixed version...
OK, so here goes: Easy on the malls, online stores, and fruitcakes. Spend some quality time with your family and friends. Give Santa a smooch - and think about " the reason for the season. "
During the holiday season we can easily get carried away with shopping, gifts and pricey items ...and I'm certainly not going to stand in the way of you and your MasterCard, but I will add a couple ideas to your "holiday to do list." Think of me as your conscience...your voice of reason...your nagging wife...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS- actually its not really schadenfreude. To be honest, I'm thinking about bringing some Jell-O Jigglers to at least one holiday party this year.
p.p.s: If I get motivated, maybe I'll post more ideas on my website - keep your eyes peeled.
Well it's about that time folks. It's December and the holiday season is upon us. I won't bore you with my annual conspicuous consumption speech, but I will give you the abridged, remixed version...
OK, so here goes: Easy on the malls, online stores, and fruitcakes. Spend some quality time with your family and friends. Give Santa a smooch - and think about " the reason for the season. "
During the holiday season we can easily get carried away with shopping, gifts and pricey items ...and I'm certainly not going to stand in the way of you and your MasterCard, but I will add a couple ideas to your "holiday to do list." Think of me as your conscience...your voice of reason...your nagging wife...
- One: The Campaign to Make Poverty History - why not throw a holiday event for a cause like this? Raise awareness and raise some mullah.
- World Vision: Many of you know this has been a favorite of mine since about 1993. A small gift can provide a child with clothes, medicine, books, and more.
- Volunteer Match: You can find any and every volunteer opportunity through this site. Food banks, shelters, and schools need more help than ever during holidays. Check 'em out.
- Toys for Tots: You gotta luv the kids! Throw a couple toys for the kids in the shopping cart along with the Wii and Plasma TV fr you. Mmhmm...I know what you're getting yourself for the holidays.
- Insert Your Own Humanitarian Effort Here: Hey - I can't come up with all the ideas! Sheesh. You guys are gettin' lazy!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS- actually its not really schadenfreude. To be honest, I'm thinking about bringing some Jell-O Jigglers to at least one holiday party this year.
p.p.s: If I get motivated, maybe I'll post more ideas on my website - keep your eyes peeled.
Monday, November 26, 2007
COTM | Bringing Texty Back
SMISV!
Sup? AWHFY? No? Ok, well J4YI, Oprah is SFE2E b/c of Obama. IOW, the YL is endorsing the QT. OMG! SWDYT? IMHO, WK?! FWIW, they're TBFFs. Poor Stedman.
If you didn't catch that, study this and then read below. If you did catch it all, me thinks you're a 13 year old girl.
Snapalicious, Monday is STILL vicious! What's Up? Are we having fun yet? No? Ok, well just for your information, Oprah is smiling from ear to ear because of Obama. In other words, the young lady is endorsing the cutie. Oh my goodness! So what do you think? In my humble opinion, who knows?! For what it's worth, they're totally best friends forever. Poor Stedman.
So how many of you have been caught in one of these conversations via e-mail/text?! They're almost as painful as being caught in a Chocolate Twankie convo. And trust you me, both are indications that the English language is dying a slow and painful death. You know what else will clue you into the current state of our national vernacular?...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - makes you want to stop texting while driving huh?
Sup? AWHFY? No? Ok, well J4YI, Oprah is SFE2E b/c of Obama. IOW, the YL is endorsing the QT. OMG! SWDYT? IMHO, WK?! FWIW, they're TBFFs. Poor Stedman.
If you didn't catch that, study this and then read below. If you did catch it all, me thinks you're a 13 year old girl.
Snapalicious, Monday is STILL vicious! What's Up? Are we having fun yet? No? Ok, well just for your information, Oprah is smiling from ear to ear because of Obama. In other words, the young lady is endorsing the cutie. Oh my goodness! So what do you think? In my humble opinion, who knows?! For what it's worth, they're totally best friends forever. Poor Stedman.
So how many of you have been caught in one of these conversations via e-mail/text?! They're almost as painful as being caught in a Chocolate Twankie convo. And trust you me, both are indications that the English language is dying a slow and painful death. You know what else will clue you into the current state of our national vernacular?...
- You've had the above abbreviated conversation...in person.
- Sometimes, when you're frustrated, you say, "WTF?!"...outloud.
- You watched the LG National Texting Championship
- You participated in the LG National Texting Championship and lost because you couldn't text "Supercalifragilisticexpialidoc
ious even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious" in less than 15 seconds.
- You get confused when people speak normal English.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - makes you want to stop texting while driving huh?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
COTM | Turkey Day
Snapberry Sauce and Turkey! It's Monday!
Ugh. Is it Thanksgiving yet? No?! Sigh. I almost forgot to send this bad-boy out. Since I'm all over the place today, you're going to get my random thoughts. Minimal organization - just nonsensical bullet points! Mmmm...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - that reminds me. I need to fill up my tank. Lemme hold a dollar!!
Ugh. Is it Thanksgiving yet? No?! Sigh. I almost forgot to send this bad-boy out. Since I'm all over the place today, you're going to get my random thoughts. Minimal organization - just nonsensical bullet points! Mmmm...
- Well, well, well....from the results of last week's poll it looks like your favorite Michael Jackson song is "Dirty Diana " - or as my nephew calls it, "Nasty Nancy." I'm surprised no one picked Jam. Shame.
- Why is he not retired yet? How are you gonna claim retirement like several times and then come back?! What kind of an example does that set for our senior citizens?! I would hate for them to think that promising something to the people and then not keeping their word is ok! Oo-wee.
- Is it Thanksgiving yet?!
- Brace yourselves. If you caught the AMAs last night, then you caught a glimpse of Armageddon: Alicia Keys performed... and danced! [loved it] and Beyonce joined Sugarland to sing the country version of irreplaceable [irrevocable....that's 2:47 minutes of my life I'll never get back.]
- Today is World Toilet Day - I know it may sound funny, but 2.6 billion people in the world are "untoileted" - from the report:"The lack of a safe, private, and convenient toilet is a daily source of indignity and undermines health, education, and income generation." I know this because it was in my work inbox this morning. Now that's how we should all start our Monday mornings.
- Back to the American Music Awards. "I be up in the gym workin' on my fitness" too so....umm...where's my AMA? I can dance in some miss piggy pumps like the best of 'em - skill!
- I'll take extra mashed potatoes, gravy, corn bread, sweet potatoes, and a turkey leg to start please. Thanks. What was that? huh?....it's not Thanksgiving yet?!?! Argh!
- I want this dress for Christmas so I can get my Tina Turner on...but I could do without the song.
- Can we bring this one back for old times sake? When I'm at work...feeling overwhelmed...or feeling like procrastinating, I just click this link and everything is better. I would pay good money to see this in person.
- Mmmm...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - that reminds me. I need to fill up my tank. Lemme hold a dollar!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
COTM | Thriller
Snapple Tropical Mango Antioxidant Water - it's Monday!
So I was going to wait 3 weeks for this, but this is just too good. In less than 3 weeks we will all be celebrating one of the most important days in like World History....
...the anniversary of Michael Jackson's Thriller! That's right December 1st [which is also World AIDS Day] is the 25th Anniversary of one of the best albums - with one of the weirdest alternative covers, but I digress. Oh Thriller. They don't make albums like that anymore. It's just amazing on so many levels. Shall we review? Here's how you know an album is the ish diddles and has ridiculous staying power....
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - I don't know...this kind of scared me more than the original video.
So I was going to wait 3 weeks for this, but this is just too good. In less than 3 weeks we will all be celebrating one of the most important days in like World History....
...the anniversary of Michael Jackson's Thriller! That's right December 1st [which is also World AIDS Day] is the 25th Anniversary of one of the best albums - with one of the weirdest alternative covers, but I digress. Oh Thriller. They don't make albums like that anymore. It's just amazing on so many levels. Shall we review? Here's how you know an album is the ish diddles and has ridiculous staying power....
- Music Video: The Thriller video is like an actual movie - and that mess scared the bejeezuz out of me when I was little. For the record, never show a child "The Making of Thriller" - ever... especially while that child happens to be visiting Africa.
- Publicity: MJ just made the cover of Ebony Magazine....and he's not even Ebony anymore! Influence.
- Dance: I know the entire dance - and so do you - don't deny it. But... um... er... uh... when a detention center in the Philippines reenacts the entire video 24 years later?! Did I mention that this is a male detention center? So that unattractive woman you see at the beginning & end....well...you figure it out.
- Remakes: Chris Brown wasn't even born when this album was released. Fast forward to the end - it has a montage of his videos. Good stuff.
- Album Sales: Thriller is the best selling album of all time! Purple Rain has to be a close second...if not, I'll cry.
- Concerts: The Thriller tour was clearly one of the best ever. Ahh...1987...when I had a serious crush on MJ. This is also the year my bro JP got me MJ's Bad album and secured my happiness and bestest, awesomest brother in the world status. I still remember the day as though it was yesterday...."put the needle on the record"...
- Songs: Thriller, Beat It, PYT, The Girl is Mine, The Lady in My Life, Human Nature...lyrical goodness!!! And I quote, " Where Did You Come From Lady, And Ooh Won't You Take Me There; Right Away Won't You Baby; Tendoroni You've Got To Be; Spark My Nature Sugar Fly With Me" - genius. Do you know how many folks have remixed his songs?!?!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - I don't know...this kind of scared me more than the original video.
Monday, November 5, 2007
COTM | Dance Off!
Snappy il Coccodrillo! It's Monday!
Ok, as much as I want to comment on the current state of German cartoons about Egyptian crocodiles named Schnappi, I can't. There are more pressing issues at hand so I'm gonna cut straight to the chase.
The 2008 Presidential Race is no longer about the issues. No, really. I've weighed each candidate's position on Education, Health Care, Foreign Policy, the Environment, Dental Floss and the like...and I just can't make up my mind. So my vote is going to be settled the old fashioned way...
...a dance off!
You guys may not think it's important, but having dancing abilities is crucial if you're going to be our next president. Don't know if you should cut taxes for the lower-income demographic?...dance off . Fighting to provide better education in all school districts?...dance off. I mean, let's be honest here - it worked for Kid n' Play in House Party - which of course, means it will work for our national government.
So who is our next president, you ask? Well if it's based on a dance off, then my home-skillet-ride-or-die-brotha-from-anotha-mutha Barry takes the cake. He's got a mean two-step. Watch-out now! He's about to " walk a whole in [his] Stacey Adams!"
What'd I'd pay to see Obama do the Souljah Boy. That would probably win my vote instantly. Let's watch him again in slow-mo...Good stuff.
So choosing a president solely based on dancing abilities isn't the best idea. But this notion does lead me to a greater message. My advice for the week? Notice "the other side" of folks. Realize that people are multidimensional [well...hopefully] and they have a fun side that needs to come out and play! Recess!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - Obama dressed up as Obama?! This man is too cool for school.
Ok, as much as I want to comment on the current state of German cartoons about Egyptian crocodiles named Schnappi, I can't. There are more pressing issues at hand so I'm gonna cut straight to the chase.
The 2008 Presidential Race is no longer about the issues. No, really. I've weighed each candidate's position on Education, Health Care, Foreign Policy, the Environment, Dental Floss and the like...and I just can't make up my mind. So my vote is going to be settled the old fashioned way...
...a dance off!
You guys may not think it's important, but having dancing abilities is crucial if you're going to be our next president. Don't know if you should cut taxes for the lower-income demographic?...dance off . Fighting to provide better education in all school districts?...dance off. I mean, let's be honest here - it worked for Kid n' Play in House Party - which of course, means it will work for our national government.
So who is our next president, you ask? Well if it's based on a dance off, then my home-skillet-ride-or-die
What'd I'd pay to see Obama do the Souljah Boy. That would probably win my vote instantly. Let's watch him again in slow-mo...Good stuff.
So choosing a president solely based on dancing abilities isn't the best idea. But this notion does lead me to a greater message. My advice for the week? Notice "the other side" of folks. Realize that people are multidimensional [well...hopefully] and they have a fun side that needs to come out and play! Recess!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS - Obama dressed up as Obama?! This man is too cool for school.
Monday, October 29, 2007
COTM | You Need A Vaca!
Snappy Day - it's time for a Vaca! Happy Monday!
I don't know about you but I'm in serious need of a vacation y'all. I never thought I'd say this, but we should be more like Europe... wait for it...in that they go on "holiday" like 6 weeks out of the year. Only in America does one take only 5 days off of work the entire year.
You know what? I think you need a vacation too. Wanna know how I know? I thought you'd never ask...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - sigh...such a good movie.
I don't know about you but I'm in serious need of a vacation y'all. I never thought I'd say this, but we should be more like Europe... wait for it...in that they go on "holiday" like 6 weeks out of the year. Only in America does one take only 5 days off of work the entire year.
You know what? I think you need a vacation too. Wanna know how I know? I thought you'd never ask...
- You've made at least 1 comical video using pictures of your co-workers, celebrities, and/or political figures. Who said Kim Jung Il only looks good in a military uniform? Wait...who said Kim Jung Il looks good??
- Your minimal free time at work is spent looking up vacation packages to Zanzibar and other places affiliated with Queen. On an unrelated topic - who would like to go to Zanzibar with me in December? About 5-7 days? Honeymoon package?
- The issues of the world plague you everyday...and you like to make-up hilarious songs about them.
- Last week you left work early...and you're a doctor...and you were in the middle of heart surgery.
- Forget effort, now you just come into work in whatever is semi-clean...like your dining room drapes.
- At your last company meeting your co-worker took the last bagel. You looked him straight in the eye and said, " leggo my eggo" and then grabbed the bagel out of his hands and walked away.
- Watching Office Space makes you cry - because you can relate in the worst way .
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - sigh...such a good movie.
Monday, October 22, 2007
COTM | Magically Delicious
Snapically Delicious! It's Monday!
Just when you thought reading these e-mails and visiting oh-mondays wasn't enough - I added a music playlist to my site so you can procrastinate until Tuesday!
So yesterday I was on the phone with my niece Reya (shout-out to her "school" ;-) USC even though they got SMASHED by Stanford...and no - I will never let it go). I mentioned how I felt too lazy to actually make dinner. Just when I was about to settle on 3 ginger snaps and a sugar-free Tic Tac she mentioned what we have declared the best invention ever... cereal! Yeah the wheel has gotten us pretty far in civilization and props to Charles Drew for pioneering blood plasma and my boy George Washington Carver for that goodness we call peanut butter, but I'd really like to shake hands with the genius who created breakfast cereal. Real talk.
Just think about it. You can eat cereal any time of the day! I guess you could eat any food any time of the day...but at 2am, filet mignon just doesn't sound as good as some Smart Start with Berries ya dig?
So I started thinking about what makes cereal so great. Off the bat, I would say it's the magical deliciousness. But when you really think about it...I think it's the commercials. Lets be honest - you could sell hot pink Spanx to a nun if the commercial is on point right? Trust me - I've tried to sell hot pink Spanx to a nun before and if I had a winning commercial Sister Mary Francis totally would have bought them. 2 for 1 ya'all!
Well here are some commercials that got you hooked like Pookie [Chris Rock] in New Jack City...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Oh you pulled my chain. Here's your MOS. Did you know that there are over 2300 ... different ... videos for G. Love and Special Sauce's infamous " Milk and Cereal" song on YouTube alone?? Now that's procrastination and boredom at its best. And so is this.
Just when you thought reading these e-mails and visiting oh-mondays wasn't enough - I added a music playlist to my site so you can procrastinate until Tuesday!
So yesterday I was on the phone with my niece Reya (shout-out to her "school" ;-) USC even though they got SMASHED by Stanford...and no - I will never let it go). I mentioned how I felt too lazy to actually make dinner. Just when I was about to settle on 3 ginger snaps and a sugar-free Tic Tac she mentioned what we have declared the best invention ever... cereal! Yeah the wheel has gotten us pretty far in civilization and props to Charles Drew for pioneering blood plasma and my boy George Washington Carver for that goodness we call peanut butter, but I'd really like to shake hands with the genius who created breakfast cereal. Real talk.
Just think about it. You can eat cereal any time of the day! I guess you could eat any food any time of the day...but at 2am, filet mignon just doesn't sound as good as some Smart Start with Berries ya dig?
So I started thinking about what makes cereal so great. Off the bat, I would say it's the magical deliciousness. But when you really think about it...I think it's the commercials. Lets be honest - you could sell hot pink Spanx to a nun if the commercial is on point right? Trust me - I've tried to sell hot pink Spanx to a nun before and if I had a winning commercial Sister Mary Francis totally would have bought them. 2 for 1 ya'all!
Well here are some commercials that got you hooked like Pookie [Chris Rock] in New Jack City...
- Alpha Bits: Quit playin' Michael. And all along I thought you were a scary-looking melting woman.
- Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal: Absolutely no nutritional value...at all.
- Pac Man Cereal:Fancy that. I was just doing the Pac Man dance this morning. Hmm...in a similar outfit....double hmm....
- Nintendo Cereal: 2 cereals in 1?!?! That's preposterous! I want no part of it!
- Life Cereal: Classic!
- Wheaties: This commercial is completely responsible for my love of Wheaties as a child and yet when I think about it, it really doesn't taste good...at all. I think Michael Jordan is the secret weapon in selling hot pink spanx to a nun.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Oh you pulled my chain. Here's your MOS. Did you know that there are over 2300 ... different ... videos for G. Love and Special Sauce's infamous " Milk and Cereal" song on YouTube alone?? Now that's procrastination and boredom at its best. And so is this.
Monday, August 27, 2007
COTM | Pocket Change
Snap Attack! Monday is BACK!
Oh how I missed it. I missed Monday like the deserts miss the rain. Like Michael Vick is about to miss Football and privacy. Like hip hop misses decent music. Like Georgie B misses Alberto. Yeah folks. I missed it that bad.
You know what else I miss? Money. Well...I never missed it 'cause I never really had it. But I'd like it! I mean - I don't have to have it...but lemme just be superficial for one moment. Have you ever thought about what you'd do if someone gave you One Million Dollars? After Georgie B "and them" take 50%...after you pay off your student loans and "miscellaneous debt"...after you make your "charitable contributions"...what material items would you spend your money on?! You have NO IDEA you say? Well let me help you out. When you win the lottery and decide to spend your money on useless goodies, please think of me in one of the following 7 manners...
Nice huh? I can't wait for one of ya'all to win the lottery. But to be honest [sappy statement in 5....4....3....2....] all I really want from you is your friendship. That's definitely worth more than a million dollars. But if you do win - just remember who kept you entertained Monday mornings when you were at that job you just quit 'cause now you're rich and all.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - once again, I try not to make fun of people under 18 but...it was just too easy. She shoulda won Miss Teen USA guys. Don't act like YOU know how to locate the United States on a map... 'cause you don't.
Oh how I missed it. I missed Monday like the deserts miss the rain. Like Michael Vick is about to miss Football and privacy. Like hip hop misses decent music. Like Georgie B misses Alberto. Yeah folks. I missed it that bad.
You know what else I miss? Money. Well...I never missed it 'cause I never really had it. But I'd like it! I mean - I don't have to have it...but lemme just be superficial for one moment. Have you ever thought about what you'd do if someone gave you One Million Dollars? After Georgie B "and them" take 50%...after you pay off your student loans and "miscellaneous debt"...after you make your "charitable contributions"...what material items would you spend your money on?! You have NO IDEA you say? Well let me help you out. When you win the lottery and decide to spend your money on useless goodies, please think of me in one of the following 7 manners...
- Iced-Out iPod Shuffle : It's classy, it's sleek, it holds 250 songs...and it's only $20,000
- Yalos LCD TV : You have to have a clear screen and perfect resolution while watching Coming to America. I'll take mine with 160 diamonds. $130,000.
- Bhutan Book: It's life size, it's about the Himalayan Kingdom (you know you love it) and it's WAY better than a coffee table book. You need a big book for your big home. $15,000. A mind's a terrible thing to waste. And so is a lanai...put it in your lanai.
- PG Tips Tea: With the stress of being rich, you need some tea to calm you down...and sip in your lanai. That'll be $7500 for one tea bag please.
- Hoveround: Those commercials have me hooked. Yesterday I saw two old ladies cruisin' down Lyndale in these bad boys like they were rollin' in a Bentley. AND they were stunnin' with some curlers in their hair! Too hot. I might do that this weekend. I wonder if insurance will cover the hoveround...
- NASA's Blue Smoke: A gel that's 99.8% air?!?! Sand and silicone dioxide...but feels like expanded polystyrene?!?! That's ridiculous! I don't know what it does but I know it's cool...and expensive. You better call NASA and get you some...and keep it in your lanai.
- Bugatti Veyron: I just thought I'd throw that in there. You know...if you had some change left over...and subsequently won the lottery again.
Nice huh? I can't wait for one of ya'all to win the lottery. But to be honest [sappy statement in 5....4....3....2....] all I really want from you is your friendship. That's definitely worth more than a million dollars. But if you do win - just remember who kept you entertained Monday mornings when you were at that job you just quit 'cause now you're rich and all.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - once again, I try not to make fun of people under 18 but...it was just too easy. She shoulda won Miss Teen USA guys. Don't act like YOU know how to locate the United States on a map... 'cause you don't.
Monday, August 20, 2007
COTM | Celebrity Mash-Ups
Snapple-Dabble Doo! It's Monday Folks!
So as you know, COTM is usually full of substance and important subject matter worthy of the front page of the New York Times. I hear you laughing and I am not amused. Anywho, today we're going to immerse ourselves in pure celebrity filth. Not-so-much gossip...something way better...
Hollywood is full of lies and deceit...which I guess are kinda the same thing. For years I've been speculating about the connections between folks in Hollywood. Many of you have heard me speak of it, but I have no proof so oh well. But now my hypotheses are being hypothesized by other folks in hypothesizing blogosphere, which totally adds validity. So here's what I think. Remember...these are just my hypotheses...Celebrity Mash-ups if you will...
Instead of advice this week, I'm going to give you all a fun Chall-aaaannnge! - figure out which celebrities you belong to. Hey, you may make some money and/or friends out of it!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - Lil Mo' performing Beyonce's Deja Vu....wow.
So as you know, COTM is usually full of substance and important subject matter worthy of the front page of the New York Times. I hear you laughing and I am not amused. Anywho, today we're going to immerse ourselves in pure celebrity filth. Not-so-much gossip...something way better...
Hollywood is full of lies and deceit...which I guess are kinda the same thing. For years I've been speculating about the connections between folks in Hollywood. Many of you have heard me speak of it, but I have no proof so oh well. But now my hypotheses are being hypothesized by other folks in hypothesizing blogosphere, which totally adds validity. So here's what I think. Remember...these are just my hypotheses...Celebrity Mash-ups if you will...
- Star Jones is Nicole Richie's undercova birth motha. Tell me you don't see it! It's all in their facial expressions.
- Beyonce and Jay-Z have a son. And his name is Chris Brown. And when they have a daughter, she may look like this.
- Speaking of Beyonce, her sister Solange may have a different Daddy...comedian Orlando Jones of Mad TV.
- Diana Ross and Michael Jackson are the proud parents of Evan Ross . Or as they say on Crunktastical, "LaMichael."
- The entire cast of Seinfeld participated in a genetic experiment which resulted in Anna Nicole's former interior designer, Bobby Trendy
Instead of advice this week, I'm going to give you all a fun Chall-aaaannnge! - figure out which celebrities you belong to. Hey, you may make some money and/or friends out of it!
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - Lil Mo' performing Beyonce's Deja Vu....wow.
Monday, August 13, 2007
COTM | SPF 30
Snap-a-dazzle, razzle me Monday!
I don't know how hot it is where y'all are, but over the weekend in East Chicago, Indiana & Chicago, Illinois (where I was) it was as hot as Lucifer's left armpit. And lemme tell ya, that's hot (roughly 90-somethin' degrees). Yup...it's summertime. I probably shouldn't be complaining considering it'll start snowing here in Minnesota in T-minus 7 days, but it's just getting unbearable!
As we're in the midst of summer, or as I like to call it, " the terrible effects of global warming ," I figure we could use a few pointers - ideas on how to get through a ridiculously hot summer...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS. It was resurrected this weekend (thanks Tash)...it's a goodie.
I don't know how hot it is where y'all are, but over the weekend in East Chicago, Indiana & Chicago, Illinois (where I was) it was as hot as Lucifer's left armpit. And lemme tell ya, that's hot (roughly 90-somethin' degrees). Yup...it's summertime. I probably shouldn't be complaining considering it'll start snowing here in Minnesota in T-minus 7 days, but it's just getting unbearable!
As we're in the midst of summer, or as I like to call it, " the terrible effects of global warming ," I figure we could use a few pointers - ideas on how to get through a ridiculously hot summer...
- Go outside! Before the end of the summer, I plan on going jet skiing, spelunking, and snow-less tobogganing. What are you going to do?
- Always wear sunscreen! A few months ago I was in Jamaica with the fam and I was burned like whoa! (even though I had sunscreen on). It hurt. And it totally wasn't cute. You really can't get your groove back with aloe gel all over your face, but I digress...
- For you Minnesota Folks, go to The State Fair!!! Oh the goodness....Martha's Cookies...Grilled corn on the cob...caramel apples...Weird Al Yancovic?!?! Oh yes. You've never HAD so much fun.
- Volunteer! There are so many opps out there to do something in your community. This summer I've been teaching kids art (aka, the kids have been teaching me art 'cause I'm no artist).
- Change up your style! Jazz up your wardrobe/hair a bit and try something different. Like this . Maybe she's born with it...maybe it's Maybelline.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS. It was resurrected this weekend (thanks Tash)...it's a goodie.
Monday, August 6, 2007
COTM | 35W
Snappiness to ya - it's Mon-day!
You know, a lot of folks dread Monday - mainly b/c it's the start of a new business week. But when you think about it, we should probably look forward to it even more than any other day - it's a chance to start all over again. A new week - a new chance.
As most of you know, tragedy has hit Minnesota in the worst way and for many of you who live here, it's not far from your homes. Everyone I talk to has a story to tell: "I was on the bridge minutes before it collapsed...I cross that bridge twice a day to and from work...I was stuck on the bridge the day before...." Some of you have been covering it for your jobs (television, print, etc) so you've had an even closer view.
I went to the Memorial Blood Center on Friday [I have that good 'ole universal blood] and it was packed. I was deferred for two weeks b/c of iron levels but was amazed to see SO many people there - all ages. The blood center was on 280 & University which is close to the U of MN. Naturally I take University to 35W to get home. Without thinking I drove down University and found myself on University over 35W right next to the bridge - one exit from my house. A serious brain freeze - I figured the traffic was normal - all that construction. Within moments I was sucked into the madness: the cars, the people, the news trucks, the cameras...and then with a blink of my eyes I went into tunnel vision. I just stared at the bridge - the one I'm on several times a day. And then I prayed. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. That bridge is where folks found their faith.
So with that I say that today is a new day. The great thing about life is that we're given the chance to start over....over and over again. So my advice for the week is to start over and/or move forward - do what you've been putting off for so long - call that friend you've been thinking about - take that trip to Saskatchewan - eat a chocolate sundae with extra whipped cream. Just live.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week! - I love you all.
You know, a lot of folks dread Monday - mainly b/c it's the start of a new business week. But when you think about it, we should probably look forward to it even more than any other day - it's a chance to start all over again. A new week - a new chance.
As most of you know, tragedy has hit Minnesota in the worst way and for many of you who live here, it's not far from your homes. Everyone I talk to has a story to tell: "I was on the bridge minutes before it collapsed...I cross that bridge twice a day to and from work...I was stuck on the bridge the day before...." Some of you have been covering it for your jobs (television, print, etc) so you've had an even closer view.
I went to the Memorial Blood Center on Friday [I have that good 'ole universal blood] and it was packed. I was deferred for two weeks b/c of iron levels but was amazed to see SO many people there - all ages. The blood center was on 280 & University which is close to the U of MN. Naturally I take University to 35W to get home. Without thinking I drove down University and found myself on University over 35W right next to the bridge - one exit from my house. A serious brain freeze - I figured the traffic was normal - all that construction. Within moments I was sucked into the madness: the cars, the people, the news trucks, the cameras...and then with a blink of my eyes I went into tunnel vision. I just stared at the bridge - the one I'm on several times a day. And then I prayed. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. That bridge is where folks found their faith.
So with that I say that today is a new day. The great thing about life is that we're given the chance to start over....over and over again. So my advice for the week is to start over and/or move forward - do what you've been putting off for so long - call that friend you've been thinking about - take that trip to Saskatchewan - eat a chocolate sundae with extra whipped cream. Just live.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week! - I love you all.
Monday, July 30, 2007
COTM | Vote or Sleep
Snaporama it's Monday!
I'm glad so many of you enjoyed my Chocolate Twinkie story from last week. That's true schadenfreude: laughing at my expense. You all should be ashamed of yourselves! Velvety soft, velvety soft.
Well enough of the foolishness! It's time for some biz-naz. By show of hands how many of you saw the CNN/YouTube Democratic Debate last week? Really?! Only that many huh. Well if you don't feel like clicking the video link above, I'll break it down for you below and highlight the important aspects of each candidate...
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - this is good stuff. I shouldn't be so hard on Bush. I'm sure if you compiled all the video clips of my verbal mishaps, you'd have a blockbuster movie - trilogy perhaps.
p.p.s: The CNN/YouTube Republican Debate is on September 17th, 2007.
I'm glad so many of you enjoyed my Chocolate Twinkie story from last week. That's true schadenfreude: laughing at my expense. You all should be ashamed of yourselves! Velvety soft, velvety soft.
Well enough of the foolishness! It's time for some biz-naz. By show of hands how many of you saw the CNN/YouTube Democratic Debate last week? Really?! Only that many huh. Well if you don't feel like clicking the video link above, I'll break it down for you below and highlight the important aspects of each candidate...
- Senator Chris Dodd [D-Connecticut]: He wore a dark gray/taupe??? suit with a navy and white polka-dot tie. Serious faux pas. Aside from that, he had a great analysis of Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. "I believe that had this occurred to major/my population, we would have seen a more rapid response and a more consistent response to that issue..." Well said, polka-dot man, well said.
- Senator Barack Obama [D-Illinois]: Obama is the political version of Billy Dee Williams with his unprecedented swagger. He's on the cover of VIBE magazine for pete's sake. Exhibit A and Exhibit B. Oh - and he's fighting for better public school systems nationwide and increasing minimum wage.
- Congressman Dennis Kucinich [D-Ohio]: Gay Marraige...check. No more funding for the war?...check. Reparations for African-Americans?...check. Green?...check. Anderson Cooper joked that he can't get any more left than he is now. I'd go a step further and say he's definitely left-handed too.
- John Edwards: Other than being Tom Cruise's better looking older brother, he doesn't believe in reparations for African-Americans. But does believe in equal mortgage payments. I guess it's a start. But can I get a mortgage?! Can I hold a dolla?!
- Senator Hilary Clinton [D-New York]: Was she wearing the peach drapes from my grandma's reading room?! Hilary give those back! And she done put some shoulder pads in 'em too. Sigh. Jokes aside, her smooth-talkin' makes those drapes look like cashmere. She had some powerful words on bringing the U.S. troops home, being a female candidate, diplomacy...
- Mike Gravel: Sorry Mike. I have no idea who you are. I mean, you seem like a nice old man. I'd totally accept some Werther's Caramel Hard Candy from you, but...next...
- Senator Joe Biden [D-Delaware]: Amazing dental work. This man's a comedian. He should be on Comedy Central. But in 1600 Pennsylvania?....weellll...
- Bill Richardson [D-New Mexico]: He mentioned stopping predatory lending to folks coming back to NOLA and letting original residents come back first. Ummm....too late. Land is purchased, businesses are built, and ownership of the city has changed hands. So now what?
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS - this is good stuff. I shouldn't be so hard on Bush. I'm sure if you compiled all the video clips of my verbal mishaps, you'd have a blockbuster movie - trilogy perhaps.
p.p.s: The CNN/YouTube Republican Debate is on September 17th, 2007.
Monday, July 23, 2007
COTM | Chocolate Twinkies
Snip-Snap, Monday is BACK!
You know, this morning I was all ready to touch on politics again: Obama, Mariane Pearl's lawsuit against al Qaeda (you can do that?!?!), the recent split of the once-joint Israeli-Palestinian Sesame Street TV program [click "Holy Land"], the declining U.S. Dollar, and things of that nature. But folks, there are other issues in life that deserve attention...such as the game that some fellas try to spit...ineffective game that is.
Now I'm no critic - I'll take a compliment where I can get it, but lately I feel like guys [the ones that walk up to me] say to themselves "forget effort, imma liken her to my favorite food...like chocolate...or cornbread....or a mocha choco frappe with a shot of soy." Now I know some of you heard this story a couple years ago, but just like Ike Turner's career, it deserves to be resurrected...I guess. So here goes...
I was walking to my car from work and spotted a couple of young men tossing the football around outside of their office building or as they called it, a "mortgage company." They said 'hi' and I said 'hi' and the rest of the conversation went a little something like this...
Man #1 [he looked kinda like this]: Ay gurl, what's good with ya?
Man #2 [he looked kinda like this ]: Whatup Ma?
Me: Nothing much how are you two doing?
Man #1: Ooooooo-wwwee! Man-o-man! You always looking so RIGHT!
[looking me up and down as though I'm a giant piece of church's chicken].
Me: What?
Man #2: Looks like you've been eating some cornbread 'cause you've got curves in ALL the right places!
[looking me up and down as though I'm a giant side of potato salad...or cornbread]
Man #1: Guuurl. Yo skin is so soft. You know what you remind me of? mmmm-MMM!
Me: Do I want to know?
Man #1: You remember those limited edition chocolate Twinkies they released for that summer like 10...15 years ago? Velvety chocolate on the outside and creme filling? You know what I'm talking about? The ones you could only get at Sam's Corner Store or the Northside YMCA? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Me: [looking at him with disappointment, yet recognition 'cause yes....I DID know what he was talking about] Umm....yeah.....wait....I remind you of a CHOCOLATE TWINKIE???
[thinking to myself, dam-nat...dam-nat!]
Man #2: Velvety soft, velvety soft.
SILENCE
[both of them looking me up and down as though I was the first female and/or real meal they saw after being released from serving a 20 year sentence in Rikers.]
Me: Umm....well you two have a good day...I gotta go.
Man #1: Chocolate Twankie gurl, CHOCOLATE TWANKIE!!!
Man #2: Velvety soft, velvety soft.
*The End*
A chocolate Twinkie? For real?! I was so appalled that when someone likened me to a Hershey Kiss I thought it wasn't so bad 'cause it wasn't a chocolate Twinkie . For shame. Well here's my advice for the week: Refrain from comparing a woman to a confectionery item...even if it's as tasty as a chocolate Twinkie.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS. I consider it schadenfreude 'cause I'm about to purchase the entire 1st season on DVD...and you should feel bad for me. Unless of course, you'd like to join me?!
p.p.s : So my phone broke and I lost all of my numbers. Please send me your digits so I can just call to say I love you:)
You know, this morning I was all ready to touch on politics again: Obama, Mariane Pearl's lawsuit against al Qaeda (you can do that?!?!), the recent split of the once-joint Israeli-Palestinian Sesame Street TV program [click "Holy Land"], the declining U.S. Dollar, and things of that nature. But folks, there are other issues in life that deserve attention...such as the game that some fellas try to spit...ineffective game that is.
Now I'm no critic - I'll take a compliment where I can get it, but lately I feel like guys [the ones that walk up to me] say to themselves "forget effort, imma liken her to my favorite food...like chocolate...or cornbread....or a mocha choco frappe with a shot of soy." Now I know some of you heard this story a couple years ago, but just like Ike Turner's career, it deserves to be resurrected...I guess. So here goes...
I was walking to my car from work and spotted a couple of young men tossing the football around outside of their office building or as they called it, a "mortgage company." They said 'hi' and I said 'hi' and the rest of the conversation went a little something like this...
Man #1 [he looked kinda like this]: Ay gurl, what's good with ya?
Man #2 [he looked kinda like this ]: Whatup Ma?
Me: Nothing much how are you two doing?
Man #1: Ooooooo-wwwee! Man-o-man! You always looking so RIGHT!
[looking me up and down as though I'm a giant piece of church's chicken].
Me: What?
Man #2: Looks like you've been eating some cornbread 'cause you've got curves in ALL the right places!
[looking me up and down as though I'm a giant side of potato salad...or cornbread]
Man #1: Guuurl. Yo skin is so soft. You know what you remind me of? mmmm-MMM!
Me: Do I want to know?
Man #1: You remember those limited edition chocolate Twinkies they released for that summer like 10...15 years ago? Velvety chocolate on the outside and creme filling? You know what I'm talking about? The ones you could only get at Sam's Corner Store or the Northside YMCA? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Me: [looking at him with disappointment, yet recognition 'cause yes....I DID know what he was talking about] Umm....yeah.....wait....I remind you of a CHOCOLATE TWINKIE???
[thinking to myself, dam-nat...dam-nat!]
Man #2: Velvety soft, velvety soft.
SILENCE
[both of them looking me up and down as though I was the first female and/or real meal they saw after being released from serving a 20 year sentence in Rikers.]
Me: Umm....well you two have a good day...I gotta go.
Man #1: Chocolate Twankie gurl, CHOCOLATE TWANKIE!!!
Man #2: Velvety soft, velvety soft.
*The End*
A chocolate Twinkie? For real?! I was so appalled that when someone likened me to a Hershey Kiss I thought it wasn't so bad 'cause it wasn't a chocolate Twinkie . For shame. Well here's my advice for the week: Refrain from comparing a woman to a confectionery item...even if it's as tasty as a chocolate Twinkie.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s : Here's your MOS. I consider it schadenfreude 'cause I'm about to purchase the entire 1st season on DVD...and you should feel bad for me. Unless of course, you'd like to join me?!
p.p.s : So my phone broke and I lost all of my numbers. Please send me your digits so I can just call to say I love you:)
Monday, July 16, 2007
COTM | My New Job
Snap-o-rama & Greetings to ya on this Monday Morn'!
So, I've been thinking about what I want to be when I grow-up (shhh...not a word). You see, I need some spice in my life. So I've been thinking about trying something different - throwing caution...and my college degrees to the wind and doing something unconventional.
So I perused Career Builder's list of the 20 Oddest Jobs. I seriously considered job # 6: a Doll Doctor. Ok, this is probably WAY easier than being a real doctor...and requires less training. And if a doll is missing an eyeball or foot or something, it's not as hard to replace as it is on a real person. And don't even get me started on all the money I'd save on medical malpractice insurance. Then I thought about job #19 - being an Ethnographer. But the word alone is daunting and makes me think I'd have to use my brain big time to be a good one. So then I finally settled on being a Foley Artist [job #9] - they "use random items...to create and record the noises used to make the sounds effects in films, such as heavy footsteps..." Ahhh...I've found my passion. But you know, I'd rather make the sounds and music for commercials - smaller projects are better for me. Baby steps, baby steps.
Have you noticed that commercials today have amazing music? Forget the radio. I would totally love to create the music that accompanies a popular commercial...say....a Cialis commercial. Those are always touching. Yup - that's what I'm going to do. Pretty soon you'll be able to brag about the song in the background of that Preparation H commercial: "oh yeah - my girl AO did that song...yeah...Preparation H with Aloe....mhmm...no kidding. So talented."
So let me give you a sample of what you can expect from me pre-tty soon. 'Cause I'm about to make moves. These are my favs right about now. The music that accompanies the commercial is simply ingenious. I've included the artists with the commercial so you can go and illegally download them like I know you will...you pirates.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS...I know...it's an oldie, but goodie.
So, I've been thinking about what I want to be when I grow-up (shhh...not a word). You see, I need some spice in my life. So I've been thinking about trying something different - throwing caution...and my college degrees to the wind and doing something unconventional.
So I perused Career Builder's list of the 20 Oddest Jobs. I seriously considered job # 6: a Doll Doctor. Ok, this is probably WAY easier than being a real doctor...and requires less training. And if a doll is missing an eyeball or foot or something, it's not as hard to replace as it is on a real person. And don't even get me started on all the money I'd save on medical malpractice insurance. Then I thought about job #19 - being an Ethnographer. But the word alone is daunting and makes me think I'd have to use my brain big time to be a good one. So then I finally settled on being a Foley Artist [job #9] - they "use random items...to create and record the noises used to make the sounds effects in films, such as heavy footsteps..." Ahhh...I've found my passion. But you know, I'd rather make the sounds and music for commercials - smaller projects are better for me. Baby steps, baby steps.
Have you noticed that commercials today have amazing music? Forget the radio. I would totally love to create the music that accompanies a popular commercial...say....a Cialis commercial. Those are always touching. Yup - that's what I'm going to do. Pretty soon you'll be able to brag about the song in the background of that Preparation H commercial: "oh yeah - my girl AO did that song...yeah...Preparation H with Aloe....mhmm...no kidding. So talented."
So let me give you a sample of what you can expect from me pre-tty soon. 'Cause I'm about to make moves. These are my favs right about now. The music that accompanies the commercial is simply ingenious. I've included the artists with the commercial so you can go and illegally download them like I know you will...you pirates.
- Geico | Royskopp "Remind Me"
- Reeses Peanut Butter Cups | Chromeo "Needy Girl"
- Ariston Aqualtis | Stina Nordestam & Caroline Lavelle "Ask the Mountains"
- Buick Enclave | Oleta Adams "Feeling Good"
- Journey Diamond Jewelry | Laura Fygi "What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?" - this is just a link to the song.
- Apple iPod & iTunes | Nicodemus ft. Quantic "Mi Swing Es Tropical"
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS...I know...it's an oldie, but goodie.
Monday, July 9, 2007
COTM | The Purple One
Snappiness & Greetings to ya on this Monday Morn!
So how many of you got married on 7/7/7?! No? Did you go to a wedding? Well I was at a wedding of sorts. One of the most joyous day of my life, in fact. And the most touching and lasting words I heard on 7/7/7 were, "Dearly Beloved....we are gathered here today....to get through this thing called life" - but these words didn't come from a priest, but close...They came from the love of my life, Prince Rogers Nelson as he performed his timeless intro to "Let's Go Crazy" from Purple Rain.
That's right, 7/7/7 was Prince Day in Minnesota and I went to his private afternoon concert at Macy's as well as the big one at the Target Center. It rained purple. It was the most magical day of my life. And then the clock struck 12, the concert ended, my Prince disappeared, my carriage turned back into a pumpkin and the rest of the night went downhill - but let's not talk about that. Let's reflect on the good times that Prince and I had (yes, in my mind it was just the two of us). I'm devoting this COTM to The Purple One. Let's recap and talk about why Prince may very well be the best entertainer in all the land.
Sigh. Prince is one beautiful woman. lol - j/k. He makes me so happy. If you remember nothing but one thing from this week's COTM, remember this: If you let him, Prince will change your life. Somebody give me an infomercial.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS. It's the Prince skit from Chapelle's Show [nsfw] - to be honest, the only reason why it's this week's MOS is 'cause I couldn't fit it in anywhere else. I have yet to figure out the Schadenfreude involved...perhaps the gratuitous use of Lycra and velvet?
p.p.s: If you don't know much about Prince, please... familiarize yourself. There'll be a test.
p.p.p.s: Rach, Eduardo, Lindz, Mariam & Abdul....I had SO much fun with you guys. We must do this again...say...8/8/8?!
So how many of you got married on 7/7/7?! No? Did you go to a wedding? Well I was at a wedding of sorts. One of the most joyous day of my life, in fact. And the most touching and lasting words I heard on 7/7/7 were, "Dearly Beloved....we are gathered here today....to get through this thing called life" - but these words didn't come from a priest, but close...They came from the love of my life, Prince Rogers Nelson as he performed his timeless intro to "Let's Go Crazy" from Purple Rain.
That's right, 7/7/7 was Prince Day in Minnesota and I went to his private afternoon concert at Macy's as well as the big one at the Target Center. It rained purple. It was the most magical day of my life. And then the clock struck 12, the concert ended, my Prince disappeared, my carriage turned back into a pumpkin and the rest of the night went downhill - but let's not talk about that. Let's reflect on the good times that Prince and I had (yes, in my mind it was just the two of us). I'm devoting this COTM to The Purple One. Let's recap and talk about why Prince may very well be the best entertainer in all the land.
- Outfits: I stopped counting after outfit number 5. But I must say that magenta never looked so good. Neither has white, teal, orange, and mother of pearl.
- Albums: He's *almost* made an album for every year of his life. Now that's skill...and dedication.
- Hair: All that performing and he didn't sweat his hair out. Dark n' Lovely ain't no joke folks. His hair is luxurious.
- Personalized Shirts: I haven't seen so many homemade t-shirts since puff paints and airbrushing were popular in the early 90s. My favorite were two girls who wore powder blue shirts that read, "Cleanse yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka" [good look Rach!]
- 3121 Perfume: Some of you have heard me say that it interestingly yet not surprisingly smells like a combination of Brut, gumdrops, and @$$. But on Saturday we met Larry...the man behind the fragrance. And he asked me for my honest opinion. And I said, "well...it sure smells like Prince." And I feel bad for making fun of his brainchild. So now I'll just say that it smells like Brut & gumdrops...with a touch of Peruvian Rainforest.
- Sheila E: Need I say more?
- Wendy & Lisa: Um...need I say more?
- Princesses: Where there is a prince, there is a princess. And many women believed that they were princesses on Saturday. In full garb, women wore purple capes, formal Cinderella gowns, boas, and the like....most of these women did not, however, look quite like princesses. Wearing a pair of gray Asics kind of takes away from the glamour of the outfit.
- Purple Prince 3121 Wristbands: I'm still wearing mine.
- Commitment: He performed 3 different times on Saturday...and didn't stop 'til the Minneapolis police shut him down!
Sigh. Prince is one beautiful woman. lol - j/k. He makes me so happy. If you remember nothing but one thing from this week's COTM, remember this: If you let him, Prince will change your life. Somebody give me an infomercial.
Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.
Have a great week!
p.s: Here's your MOS. It's the Prince skit from Chapelle's Show [nsfw] - to be honest, the only reason why it's this week's MOS is 'cause I couldn't fit it in anywhere else. I have yet to figure out the Schadenfreude involved...perhaps the gratuitous use of Lycra and velvet?
p.p.s: If you don't know much about Prince, please... familiarize yourself. There'll be a test.
p.p.p.s: Rach, Eduardo, Lindz, Mariam & Abdul....I had SO much fun with you guys. We must do this again...say...8/8/8?!
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