COTM | Sweet Home Alabama

Snappy Sweet Home Alabama! It's Monday! Happy President's Day y'all. Who's at work? I may not celebrate President's day, but I'd like to have the option ya know? If I had the day off I'd totally commemorate the holiday by spending some Washingtons, Lincolns & Jacksons at the mall [I'm not quite big-time like you guys].

Well I just got back from Montgomery, AL - that's right, I actually broke my personal oath to never go to Alabama or Mississippi [my apologies if that's where your family lineage leads you]. Even I have family down there and have always refused to visit. Now? I'll consider it. Montgomery is a quaint, historic and lovely town...somewhat untouched by modern day society yet emancipated from its 1960s persona. Nevertheless I couldn't find a restaurant to save my life [Red Lobsters & Sonics aside]. I was down there presenting at a conference and had the chance to meet some interesting people. I could explain all of my encounters to you, but I think my time in Montgomery is best described in quotes taken out of context. Enjoy a few highlights of my trip...

• Lovely older lady I sat next to on the plane while talking about relationships, family, Hurricane Katrina, church and...sin: "Honey, some of these young ladies your age are...." her voice drops to a whisper... "you know...living in sin! ...sharing a home with their boyfriends!" And I replied with, "NO!" And then I put a bunch of you on blast and said, "you know...to be honest...I have some friends who are living in sin right now...mmhmm...yes ma'am."

• Young man on the hotel elevator: "Happy Balentines Day. Ay...whatcho nayyyme is?" He looked kind of like this...and so did his friend. Matter fact, most of the young men in Montgomery looked like Soulja Boy. Mmm...Montgomery's finest. Not a Kenneth Cole dress shoe in site with this age group.

• Me to Clarence Otis, Jr. - Chairman & CEO of Darden Restaurants [Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Capital Grill...]: "Mr. Otis, that was a wonderful speech. You know, when I spoke to the college kids yesterday I emphasized education and would love to interview you in the future. But really though, what I'd really like to know is the recipe for those cheddar biscuits." And then I slipped him my business card and said to him and his publicist, "...e-mail it to me when you get a chance. I won't tell a soul. Pleasure meeting you." Then I walked away. He probably thinks I'm crazy but I'm so for real.

• [Same lovely lady from my plane-ride when I ran into her again at the hotel]: "You know, when we were at baggage claim I saw the driver with your name on a sign and I said to my husband, 'that's Anna - the young lady I sat next to on the plane...and I think that's her last name!' Well then my husband said to me, 'that's not the same Anna - that name on the sign is a Hispanic name!' " ...blink...blink...And then I replied, "yup! That was me...with the 'Hispanic' name on the sign!" I mean, do we really know our history?! lol.

• Hotel staff member discussing children: "Well....I have one girl now. If I have another girl I'm going to name her Obvious. I just really like the word." I thought about responding with, 'well...I really like the word metacognition but I don't think I'm going to name my first daughter that." Fact of the matter is she was a really sweet girl. Actually grown woman since she's 24, so I don't want to get on her case too much. I'd tell you the names of the other staff member's kids, but I don't want to publicly put them all on blizz like that. So ask me in person...it gets better [or worse depending on how you look at it].
  

• Hotel registration staff lady when I requested wireless internet: "Ok...so....do you need me to get you the chords or do you have them with you?" I replied with, "wireless Internet. I just need access to wireless Internet. Access code?" She replied with, "I know - but do you need the chords for the wireless Internet?" I replied with, "sigh...no thanks. I have the chords."

• "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am": Everyone in Montgomery - I can get used to this Southern hospitality! [minus the "ma'am"] My lil bro Chris looked at me sideways when I opened the door for myself. He was all, "you know you're not supposed to do that here." I'm just not used to the chivalry! The Midwest is all "every man for himself" compared to the South!
  

I've got stories for days. I had a great time. My advice on this historic President's Day - don't let preconceived notions stop you from learning more about your history, traveling to new places and meeting new people. If you do, you may just miss out on a fun and interesting experience.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom.

Have a great week!

p.s: Here's your MOS - yup, that's our president. And my absolute favorite [which I was actually in the audience for in DC a few years back] is his wonderful explanation of Tribal Sovereignty.